A Mama Moment | Savoring Her Joy From Afar

Last month, C had her Tea and Art Show, at her school.  It was this week, that D, had his BIG trial, so he wasn't able to come to us.  So, that meant, it was just ME and Luca coming to see her, which, I thought, shouldn't be too bad, since it's held out on the playground of the school.

But...it's SO much better when Daddy can come with us!!

Once Luca got on the playground, he was ALL OVER THE PLACE!!  He especially LOVED the big kid swings.  He wanted SO badly to swing on them, like his 4-year-old, big sister.  So that meant, all my attention went to him so he didn't get himself hurt by running right into the kids who were already swinging fast on the swings.

You know 1-year-olds...they don't care what's going on around them...all they care about is bolting as fast as they can toward EXACTLY what they want! ;) 

He was NOT happy about this at all.

While I was trying to keep  my 1-year-old safe and sound, my 4-year-old was running around all over the place, too, with her friends.  I kept saying, "Camille, lets go see YOUR Art work.  Let's get a picture of you by it, too!"

She'd yell out, while whizzing by me, "OK!"

And then I'd run the opposite way chasing Luca, which meant, no picture by her Art work to be had.

Eventually, I squatted down while C was swinging, and as fast I could, I snapped this wonderful pic of her.  But, again, no Art of hers to be had in the pic.  Those are from another class at the school. :(

I'm happy I at least got this one.  It definitely shows EXACTLY how this moment was going for all of us.  She's swinging away and I'm holding Luca as tight as I can so he doesn't run full speed ahead to those swings and get kicked in the face by his sister.  Oh man!!

Eventually, with a sad heart, I had to leave.  I had SO much guilt for having to leave her and, man, I SO wanted to stay and continue to watch her play with her friends and for her to tell me more about her Art work, but Luca was in full on meltdown mode at this time.

I could watch her run around with her friends with the biggest, JOYous smile on her face all day long, and most of all, I just wanted to SAVOR watching her BE exactly WHO she is while in this environment at school.  Moments that I never get to witness long.  Moments I wish I did.

It's SO hard being on the parent side sometimes.  When I look at C and see her in her classroom, I'm just in awe that that's MY child in school now. When before, when I was in the classroom, it was just my students...not my child.  Words really can't explain it, but man, I wish I could just spend all day in the classroom with her just watching her blossom like my students did.  

But, I had to leave, because, as you can see, this little guy was in need of his nap and some down time.   And, not to mention, so was I. I was running out of steam trying keep up with him from not getting hurt on the big kid playground all while trying to focus on Camille and her Art work.

Yep, NOT happy!

I was about to drive off, but then Luca settled down. I looked straight ahead and I could still C playing on the playground.  So, I thought I'd stick around for as long as Luca would let me so I could still watch her in all her JOY glory.

Thank goodness for the zoom lens on my iPhone. 

Oh my gosh!! I'm SO happy I parked in this spot and was able to stay.  Luca ended up falling asleep and I watched her for 20 minutes running around with her friends.  I was filled with happy, joy tingles and tears the entire time.  I couldn't stop smiling.

Words can't express how much I LOVE to watch her in these kinds of moments.  I could FEEL her JOY all the way in the car.  And, not to mention, my JOY overlapping with hers.

Seeing her sit with one of her closets friends at school at the table...HEART MELTER!!!  OMG!! I just LOVE it!!

As I sat and watched her, all I could think, with a joyous heart, is that my wish for her is to always have people in her life, outside of her family: friends, caregivers, teachers, who uplift her, leave her with her cheeks hurting because they made her laugh so hard, and ones who always support her and love her for exactly WHO she is! And when conflicts arise, she comes out growing more confident and connected to the person she is. This IS my wish for her!! While watching her in these moments, I could tell,that this wish, is already starting to unfold and it just brought me to happy tears. :) 

Even though, I wasn't able to stay on the playground and watch these moments of her school JOY right there next to her for long, I'm SO glad that I got these little moments, from afar, to SAVOR!!

Before I know it, Luca will be older, and these 1-year-old meltdowns will be the story of the past, and these little moments of JOY will be moments that I'll be able to SAVOR with an even closer seat.

But, in the end, I was still there, for her, just with a view from afar.  SO grateful for that!!

I'm not gonna lie...I can't wait for that closer seat though! ;)

I'd LOVE to know...

Has this ever happened to you?  When you SO wanna BE in the moment with one of your children, but then, at the time same time, your other child's needs come first?

Life is JOY...SAVOR it up!