Doodle Break | Calming My Wild Monkey Mama Mind
This past Monday, I registered C for Kindergarten. Say whaaaaaaaaaat!?!? I did better than expected with my emotions while filling out the paperwork, but, once the secretary said, "Welcome! We're happy to have you and your daughter here!" my insides began to ignite with emotions.
I didn't know if I gave her a big welcoming smiling back or if I gave her a BIG worrisome smile, that had, "HOLY CRAP!! My daughter is going to be a Kindergartner!!! OMG!!!" all over it.
I'm pretty sure it was the holy crap smile, because my monkey mind went WILD while driving home, and then, once again, while reading through all the paper work (again) at home.
While reading over her schedule for the day and seeing that she starts at 8 am and won't be picked up until 3 pm, and then seeing all the subjects and the activities she'll be learning and doing in between...I FREAKED!!! Now, you'd think I'd be totally fine with this, since, in my past teaching 2nd and 3rd grade experiences, this schedule is one that I could have written and taught myself and one that I know like the back of my hand.
Well...not the case at all. It's SO different when you're on the "parent" side of things AND when you never taught when you had kids yourself. ;)
All I could think about was...
❀ is this the RIGHT school for her (to me this is HUGE because we're the decision makers in this...no one else...and, I mean, really, how do you know 100% that it's the perfect fit before starting it??? guess, this is the time I need to think about Dory and Marlin while hanging onto the whale's tongue in Finding Nemo...hehe!)
❀ she's gonna be away from me and our relaxing schedule for 7 hours!!!
❀ she's gonna be away from the house for 7 hours!!! Longer than she ever has!!!
❀ she's gonna be away from her little bro 7 hours!!! How are they BOTH gonna react to that???
❀ 7 hours!! Can she handle that?
❀ 7 hours!! Can I??
❀ 7 hours!! She's going to be overstimulated BIG TIME!! Oh, I'm NOT looking forward to Friday evenings...meltdown city from a week of lots of school stimulation.
❀ 7 hours!! This is it!! No more baby!! Now it's officially school time!! No more just hanging out without any certain educational outcomes that require a grade...and all the outsides influences for 7 hours!! The outside influences...OH NO!!! NOT those!! I'm NOT ready for this!!
So, yeah, we're not even close to her Kindergarten start date yet, and yeah, my mind was on a 7 hours!! rampage and freaking out about letting her go out to an even longer day without me into the big 'ole world,and, because of that, I knew I was in need of some major...MAJOR...doodling time. (It's SO hard letting them go...especially when they're SO little, right??? Well, for me it definitely is...something I never could have wrapped my head around before becoming a mom)
Once Luca was down for his nap, the word calm and yellows and pinks just felt right. And then, swirly lines with dots felt even better. And after that, lots and lots of tracing and tracing over the lines were had.
It was VERY difficult to calm my thoughts while doing this doodle. But, that's where the tracing came in. The more I traced, the more I calmed. And when I finished, I had an entire new outlook on the situation.
Yes, I'm still nervous, because this August is another BIG transition for us, but my gut spoke and led me thoughts that said I have to stay in trust, faith and calm mode and look to the bright side of it all.
I started to think about how Camille currently loves school. And then I thought back to my elementary school days and how I loved it and loved being around my friends.
I realized that this is where the monkey mind comes in because my fresh memories of school are from when I was the teacher, not the student. And, because of that long time ago since I was the little student, I can forget how exciting school can be; new things to learn, new friends to meet, fun activities do and so much inner growth...especially with learning who you are and what you love and don't love.
So I relaxed a bit and thought more about C and how her Pre-K year has been for her. (Yes, that first week was tough...for both of us!! And I need to read that post every day!!) I thought about the intention and vision that I have for C and school...that's she's excited to go everyday...she loves her friends and her friends love her and that she's confident, social and successful.
When I got her first teacher progress report a few months back, those were the EXACT things written. She loves school, is social, doing well with learning and her classmates love her. (intention setting and visioning works!!! i have to keep reminding myself this, too!!)
I also thought back to the birth of both kiddos (because this is a time when worrisome thoughts can be on the rise as well), especially with having to evacuate to Florida when just days away from birthing Luca, that everything...EVERYTHING...always works out in the end, especially when I don't over analyze, plan or try to figure it all out ahead of time. It all falls into place, just as it should.
Then I went on my day, pretty calm about the whole situation, and wouldn't ya know it, later that day, and even bigger "calm" message was brought to my awareness.
I had texted my friend, Mara, because she's SO great about easing my mind around this type of parenting stuff, telling her that I just registered C and that I was freaking about the 7 hours!! of C being away from me.
She texted back the loveliest note about her daughter, who's heart is being so very nourished, while in her first year at Kindergarten this year.
After reading her words, I realized that the day before, I had texted her, telling her that I know her soul had been very...VERY...nourished after her weekend at a photography workshop with a photographer we both love and follow.
Her words to me about her daughter's soul nourishment at school and then my words to her about her soul nourishment at a workshop were the perfect reminder that yes, learning, education, being around others, no matter what age we are, can be very...VERY...soul nourishing!!
I mean, how could I even forget that, I spent the entire 2007-2008 year, traveling from Virginia to New York City to attend the Institute for Integrative Nutrition without knowing one person!! And, that entire year was HUGE nourishment to my soul and growth!!
And, ladies and gentleman!! That's what's important here...that it's most important of all for me to keep my focus on all the ways my kiddos (and myself!!) are going to be filled with love, growth and soul nourishment as they grow into their adult lives and make their way out into this beautiful, big world of ours!!
(because it's SO easy to focus on the negativity in education because of the stories that are focused on in the media...can make a mama lose her hair and the real, light bright, sight of it all).
So if you're feeling frazzled and overwhelmed with worrisome thoughts, doodle mama!! It's SO helpful and SO SO powerful.
Because I creatively, calmed my mind, not only did I get my mind out of the negative, worrisome mental funk that could have lasted for hours, but, I cleared my mind, so that later in the day, I was able to receive an even even bigger and even more powerful message that brought even more calm my thoughts and outlook on life.
If you're anything like I was (trying all kinds of ways to calm your mind with yoga, meditation and eating organic foods with not one thought that you're creative!) and you have NO idea how to even start doodling, be sure to check out my FREE eBook where I inspire you, with beautiful, step-by-step, photographs, on HOW to easily get your "doodle" on so you can slow down those wild monkey thoughts, feel more emotionally calm and savor your life with a "life is good AND everything ALWAYS works out just as it should" focus.
Way easier than sitting still in silence for 10 minutes. Promise! :)
So, tell me...
Have you already put your children in elementary school? How did it go for you? Or, are you like me and about to step in the journey of elementary school all over again, but this time being the parent, rather the student?
I'd love to know that I'm not alone in this big, transition, parenting moment. :)
Until next time... Life IS creatively, awesome...SAVOR it up!