My (Finished) Awful Flower
Last weekend, time opened up, and I was able to play more with my Awful Flower. Usually, when I paint, the house is super duper quiet, because the "quiet" helps me to get into my doodle painting calm zone much faster and nourishes me so, SO much! For some reason, I felt an urge to listen to The Holiday soundtrack. Sometimes, I'll listen to this soundtrack when I doodle with my sharpies. The music is SO calming to me. I LOVE it!
I listened to the soundtrack for quite a bit, but I noticed that I was still struggling with my left-brain thoughts, like, "these colors suck" and I just didn't feel like I was getting into the calm, creative zone that I always get into once I've painted for 10 to 20 minutes or so.
30 minutes out, I decided to stop the music and paint in silence. And this is what happened....
My left-brain thoughts looked at it and said, "Yeah, it's not my favorite."
But, then my right brain said, "But I sure do LOVE the colors in the middle of the flower!! A new color to play with next time!! Woohoo!"
These thoughts tell me that I'm in MAJOR need of MORE doodle painting time. Because it's been SO long since I've had a big chunk of mama me time to play with paint, my left-brain thoughts are completely running the show.
They're running the show because my days are FILLED with constant, multi-tasking thoughts that come with motherhood and taking care of the needs of a 4-year-old and 1-year-old.
And let me tell you, if it were up to me, I'd be painting every day for an hour or more. Oh yeah!!
The more I get my doodle paint calm on, the more those left-brain thoughts that come at me full speed ahead while painting, like, "this sucks!" calm and balance out with more right brain, "This IS awesome...I LOVE this!!...I feel SO GOOD!!...I'm SO HAPPY right now!!" thoughts.
I know this for a fact, because it's exactly what happened to my thoughts when I was painting more when I was a mama to only one child and the reason WHY I became a Certified Creatively Fit Coach.
But, check this out!
If you're like my story and never thought of yourself as creative, don't think doodling will calm your mind and are fearful of painting because you're not an artistor you do paint something but it's not coming out exactly how you want it to and you think there's nothing you can do about it because you've already put paint on the canvas...well, fear not, because...
If you paint something that you don't like, you can paint over it!!
Just look at how much my flower changed....
Pretty awesome, right?
I actually like how the petals were coming out in the first one and I'm kinda bummed I changed them up in the second one. But those blossoming petals in the back, after looking at them, I knew that I didn't want all those petals there anymore. So the first thing I did when I sat down to play with the flower again was painted over them!
I struggled with colors that felt GOOD and CALMING for the middle of the flower in both paintings, until finally, after turning off the background music while painting the second one, I nailed a color that had me smiling BIG and FEELING GOOD!! LOVE it when that happens!! (yay, hello right brain!)
I'm struggling because my mind is way deep in left-brain land, the land of adult responsibilities and very little time to relax and rejuvenate. A land that hasn't been given a break to just mindlessly, play, like a toddler again, in right-brain land. The land of no rules, just fun and connected to what feels GOOD, in present moment. When the left-brain dominates, it's hard to connect to what we truly LOVE and what FEELS the best to us. And, it's AMAZING how your thoughts show up in your paintings!! I talked about this in my first post I did about my awful flower.
Then I spent a lot of time on the petals. I felt like I could never get to a place that I really loved. (ugh, hello left brain!)
When I was done, I didn't feel as calm as I usually do after painting, but again, what I know now, after having spent these past few years painting to calm my mind, is that just because I didn't get instant calm from this painting doesn't mean that painting isn't calming and it doesn't mean painting is a waste of time.
But, that it does mean, that this is a HUGE HUGE HUGE sign that my mind is major need of an adult, left-brain break by letting my inner, creative toddler come out and play for a bit.
My left-brain is dominating the show BIG TIME right now. And the only way to calm those stressful, worrisome, yuck thoughts is to let my right brain, "this is awesome and what was I stressed about again?" thoughts come out and play more with mindless doodling and doodle painting fun!
And, yes, we need those left-brain thoughts to keep us safe and out of trouble, but those thought's are meant to bury our right brain thoughts so they can continue to dominate the show...our life.
If you're like me, and you start to get your doodle calm on and you still feel like you're in a funk after finishing,just know that this is a GOOD thing, not bad, because it only means that your left-brain, analytical, everything must be perfect thoughts are in need of a much needed break.
Doing a mindless, toddler activity like this, while still thinking "funk" thoughts, is still bringing you calming benefits, even if you don't SEE it or FEEL it just yet. You can SEE my benefits, when I said my left-brain was saying, "this sucks" but my right brain said, "LOVING that color in the middle of the flower!" up above.
It's just like with any new activity or an activity you haven't done in awhile. It takes time to get into your flow. Ever done yoga? If so, remember the first time you did some of the poses? Were you tight? Not flexible at all? Then, after doing that pose a bunch of times, you felt more at ease, more calm, more flexible and flowed more easily into the pose? Same thing with doodling. Except, instead of calming and stretching and balancing your muscles, you're calming, stretching (not literally!) and balancing your thoughts! Awesome stuff!!
The more mindless fun you have, the more you'll get into that right brain, present, loving what you're doing, free flowing state of mind and then, when you go back out into the left-brain world, those adult demands won't seem as stressful as they once did.
The exact reason why I LOVE getting my doodle calm on. The exact reason WHY I crave it and the exact reason why I'm WISHING for more time to open up. This mama season will pass! This mama season will pass!
There's nothing better than feeling giddy, happy, rejuvenated and energized and bringing all of that into my busy, mama day!
Here's to finding more time to getting our minds calm and balanced with doodle painting!! Cheers!!
Until next time...
Life IS colorfully, calm...SAVOR it up!