To Gym or Not To Gym?

To gym or not to gym? That was a question that had been in my head for weeks.

You see, I found this beautiful family gym once moving here. I go there twice a week, but not to work-out.  For Camille's gym and music classes.

When I'm there,I see many Mom's bring their kids to daycare so they can work-out.  When I see this, I think, "Wow, that would be nice. I can work-out while Camille plays."

But then I think, "I can't leave Camille in daycare. I'm NOT ready for that yet."

For the past few weeks, this has been playing in my head:

"I should do it. I need to lose my baby weight. And, it would be great to have some alone time."

"But, I'm not ready to leave Camille three times a week.  I'd worry about her the entire time I'm working out, and that's not me-time. I'll do it when she's 2!"

"But, if I do it, I'll lose the rest of my weight faster. OK, I'm doing it!"

(The next day)

Nah, I'm not gonna sign-up. It's too expensive. I'm a SAHM right now, I'd rather put the money toward something else. Plus, I like going for walks with Camille and Rusty outside. And, I'm trying to slow down!"

(I take Camille to music and I see all the Mom's walking in and dropping their kids off)

"I'm SO signing up! It'll be great. Camille's doing fine with the other kids. The gym is awesome and she'll love daycare. I won't be away from her for that long and I'll be close by. I'm doing it!

The day after I made my decision, the woman I'd spoken to at the gym a month ago, sent me an email to see if I was still interested in joining. I told her yes, and made an appointment to sign-up for the following day.

Guess what happened next? :)

I began thinking it over again. Something wasn't feeling right in my gut andI wasn't super jazzed about it. I talked it over with my husband (who was all for it), and I canceled my appointment.

The next day, on our walk,  I just couldn't help but smile.  Then I realized that in four years, Camille will be starting Kindergarten, and our mornings will be completely different. Five days a week she'll be at school.  Once home, she'll play with her friends, do homework, eat dinner, take a bath, spend time with Damian and I, and then go to sleep.

We won't wake up, eat, play, eat, go to a fun mommy and baby class, nap, eat and go for walks every day (not always in that order). She'll also want more time with her friends and less time with me. (Wow, as I write this, I am tearing up. I'm going to be a basket case on her first day at school. Ha!)

So, one way I'm going to savor my time with Camille right now is to continue going on walks with her. Because, when I do, I feel happy. I feel joy. I feel energized. It truly is "me" time.

I'm not going to power walk, but I am going to walk at a pace that feels comfortable for me. If I walk too fast, I'll miss something. Like the beautiful sky, the clouds, the grass, the flowers, the birds, the trees, the way the sun lights up the streets and the laughter from the kids playing in the street.

I'll miss hearing Camille look up at me and say hiiiiiieeeee and not say hi back. I definitely don't want to miss that! Her 14 month talk melts my heart to pieces.

It feels SO good to slow down and take these walks. Walks that I like to call gratitude walks. Walks that fill every cell in my body with pure bliss, that rejuvenate me and help me feel refreshed. Something my body, mind and soul is truly in love with and craves.

So for now, the gym will wait. In a few years, I'll have more time to go and enjoy everything it has to offer. But, honestly, I'm not sure if I'll ever go. Being out in nature is pretty addicting for this mama!

Something I do know for sure: I only get these toddler years once, so I'm making sure to savor every second of it. If that means not doing work-outs that I used to do, so be it!  Those work-outs will always be there, but Camille, at 14 months, won't.

So, how about you? What activities do you enjoy doing that help you feel good?

{life is good}