Circle Painting | There’s Always Calm in Chaos

Throughout these past three years, I’ve doodled painted on and off, but I was having a lot of difficulty doing it on a consistent basis.

I really wanted to sit down a lot more and paint once the kids were in school all day, but I’d let the exhaustion of motherhood tell me to just sit and do nothing instead.

Back in August, actually, back on August 22, 2019, to be exact, I DID sit down to doodle paint.

And gosh, the message from spirit that came through while I was mindlessly-creating and painting was absolutely AMAZING!!

The message goes perfectly with the pandemic that we’re ALL going through right now, too!!

Back in August, Luca was struggling with leaving me to go to school.

He had never had a problem with leaving me until this past year.

I actually thought he’d never have a problem leaving me, because it was hard for his sister, at times, from pre-k through 2nd grade, but him, he’d just run right in with a BIG smile on his face and never look back at me.

I was actually relieved because it hurt my mama heart so much seeing C so sad and hurt at drop-off.

So on August 22nd, I sat down to paint, because I knew my emotional and frazzled mind needed it because I was a wreck inside because he was SO upset in the mornings.

It really does break my heart…just typing it out makes me want to cry. :(

And when I sit down to paint, I always have ‘my painting thoughts’ notebook right next to me, because my amazing right-brain… calming, UPlifting and positive thoughts and messages (from spirit!) ALWAYS come through once my left-brain, worrisome, exhausted and stressed-out thoughts calm.

So on this day, I think before I started to paint, I wrote about how I was feeling...

“I’m sad because Luca cried at school yesterday and this morning because he says he misses me at school. Then I cried after I dropped him off and I’m PMSing and C had a major meltdown on the drive to tutoring (because she didn’t want to go!) and I so desperately want to get back to blogging but it’s hard when my mind is so consumed with the emotions of my kiddos so I’m making myself paint because I need it!! It’s my therapy and I know good uplifting thoughts from God and my angels will come through!”

And, oh my gosh, GOOD UPlifting thoughts from God and my angels DID come through!!

As I started painting…

I wish I had taken more photos or video of my entire process, but back then, I wasn’t in a place to share online anymore…I wanted to just focus on my calming my mind through painting without documenting it because I knew it was what my mind needed…but I did video some of it on Instagram, which I share below…

it was so calming at first, but then the more I got into it, I felt like I was painting a storm and NOT getting anywhere with dissolving my frazzled, inner thoughts and FEELING calm…that is, until the CALM finally came (which, honestly, ALWAYS happens because my left-brain really does not like taking a back seat for a bit!).

When I doodle paint, I never try to paint something with a perfect outcome. I do paint something I know I don’t have to think much about…something that I just play with, like I did when I was a kid, something I know will easily calm my mind, something that I know won’t look professionally done or even look pleasing to eye.

Because for me, I don’t do it for how it’s going to look. I do it for how it’s going to make me feel. I’m not a professional artist. I’m not trying to be one either. But what I am is someone who is reviving the inner-kid inside of her, the one who loved to make a mess with paints, just for fun! The one who chose colors she loved and just swirled them around, just for fun! The one who didn’t even care what she was making, because just swirling colors around brought her the most joy and when she was done, she couldn’t wait to show it to the world.

She wasn’t trying to recreate a masterpiece or follow along instructions that told her how to paint, step-by-step, she was just BEing a kid, exploring and playing with color…just for FUN!!

Because it’s when I revive that little girl inside of me who LOVED to play with color again, that is where my inner CALM and JOY and HAPPY come ALIVE again!! It has never left me…it’s ALWAYS there…all I have to do is keep it ALIVE while living my very busy and very stressful left-brain life!

Learn more here

You can see some of it unfolding here, on my Instagram stories, that I posted on that August day (SO glad something in me said to post that day!!).

My therapy! I’m feeling sad today because Luca cried at school yesterday and this morning because he says he misses me. Then I cried after I dropped him off (Aunt Flo isn’t helping, either!) Parenting is a JOY but oh, so HARD!! Especially when their hearts are sad with new transitions (this is his 4th new school) #militarylife #louisianalife. It’s hard right now, but I’ve been through this SO many times with his sister and I know it all works out and we will ALL be SO much stronger and more confident than before! It’s still HARD though!!

This is when things start getting crazy…I always feel like the chaos in my mind (that busy monkey mind that likes to stay in control…what I like to call…left brain!!) starts to come out and release out on my paper and soon…my mind will start feeling SO much CALMer than when I first started (because my left brain - the stress side - is FINALLY taking a much needed nap and my right brain - the calm side - is FINALLY getting a chance to come out and play! Yay!)

Once I started painting the circles, everything FINALLY started to CALM!!

And when I was done, I had the most AMAZING, UPlifting message to share!! I was SO motivated to share it on my blog…but, motherhood AND life, got in the way!

She’s done! And WOW an AMAZING message came through (like always!).

I can’t wait to blog it! Woohoo! My heart doesn’t feel so heavy anymore!!

I still can’t wait to pick up my boy so he can tell me he had a GREAT day though!

But, gosh, I do FEEL SO MUCH BETTER!! That’s the power of mindless-creativity! Oh yeah!!

But now, during the most frazzled time of life, I FINALLY am!! OH MY GOSH!!

So once my right-brain-CALM came through here’s what she said (I like to call her she sometimes!) :)

Circles

All the chaos in my mind will calm.

I AM CALM through all the JOY and the CHAOS, overwhelm, FRAZZLE and uncomfortableness.

My inner world is ALWAYS calm, no matter what is happening outside of me…good and bad!

My calmness is ALWAYS there and it never goes away…like the circles are my happy!

Bubbles!!

They’re bubbles!!!

Bubbles…floating, happily and peacefully inside of me…reminding me I AM ALWAYS CALM after the storm BUT also DURING IT!!!

The storm is a reminder that my CALM never leaves me…even though I think it does!

There’s ALWAYS calm in chaos, but the choas shows me the calm is there!

And I got slower while I painted around the circles…I was faster with the background (external) and slower with the circles (my inner world).

My natural state is slow!! Happy! Savoring!

The circles remind me that this is who I am, ALWAYS, no matter what external chaos is happening around me.

And that’s what I’m here to teach my kids…CALM, SAFE, PEACE, HAPPY, CONFIDENT, BEAUTIFUL is who we are!!

And then I started thinking about bubbles. That’s EXACTLY what they do!

They’re round, which to me, means they’re whole. They’re circles! And Circle’s, to me, represent being whole…nothing is wrong…nothing is lacking…they’re completely 100% whole…while they’re slowly floating around in life, reflecting rainbow-like colors, no matter what is going on in the external world.

And I thought, that’s what I have inside of me…I kind of have bubbles floating inside of me…when times are tough and life feels like too much…my inner peace, my inner calm, my inner slowness is ALWAYS floating inside of me, no matter how much chaos and stress is floating outside of me.

YES! YES! YES!

So when times get tough, I’m going to think of bubbles!!!

I’m going to SEE myself floating like bubbles! Reminding me that even though I’m sad and worried and angry and stressed, that my inner peace bubbles are helping me get through it all and that no outside worry or stress will ever take it away!

I AM A BUBBLE!!

And when those outside stressors come, they’ll pop and I’ll be back to floating peacefully again with calm and happiness, like bubbles do, when they float around in the (sometimes!) external chaos and stress of the world.

I AM A BUBBLE!!

I say (sometimes!) because the external isn’t always chaotic and stressful.

It’s just when those uncomfortable and fearful feelings come…it can seem like they’ll never end and never go away.

But they do! They ALWAYS do!

But, they ALWAYS do come back, too! I’m human, and I think and feel ALL kinds of thoughts and feelings (good and bad!). That’s normal.

But when my life gets stressful and worrisome, it can be very hard for me to remember that my worry usually is for nothing and my stress will pass…my fears will pass…and that once they do, my inner CALM and LOVE is there, just waiting for me to connect with it, to SEE it, to FEEL it, even when times get stressful and sad.

So since I’m SO visual, what better way for me to remind myself that I AM CALM…I AM PEACE…I AM LOVE and I WILL GET THROUGH THIS than visualizing myself as A PEACEFUL and CALMING FLOATING BUBBLE.

Like when I see the tiny bubbles that I see FLOAT by me after I squeeze the dish soap bottle and wash the dishes as fast as I can because my kids are yelling out to me that they need me or when I’m inside the house, cleaning up and doing 50 million other things all at once and my kids are outside, and I see all the bubbles floating around the backyard that they have blown.

I can SEE those bubbles, outside of me and INSIDE of me, reminding me that I AM WHOLE…I AM PEACE…I AM LOVE…I AM CALM…even while being a very busy, stressed out, worrisome and fearful mom!!

And when the chaos of life takes over me, I immediately think now, I AM A BUBBLE and I can FEEL the calm and peace fill me as I slowly float through moments of stress and fear and worry!

YES! YES! YES!!

And…

WOW! WOW! WOW!

Talk about an AMAZING, UPLIFTING and COMFORTING message…one I really, REALLY, needed back in August (and one, both my kiddos needed back then, too!) AND one that I really, REALLY, need right now (one that we ALL need right now!)

When I re-read my notes the other day, I couldn’t believe how this message went perfectly with how life is right now.

I’m SO thankful the darkness in the world right now has ignited my inner LIGHT again!

I’m SO thankful that the darkness has sparked something inside of me to CREATE and SHARE again!

Because I don’t know…if this didn’t happen, I’m pretty sure I’d still be letting my left-brain exhausted and just do NOTHING thoughts control my ways!

And sharing this now…I know this was this message’s purpose.

I was supposed to share it now, not back in August!

Because this message wasn’t just meant for me…it was meant for the world!!!

And what I know for sure, the world needs this and life ALWAYS works out just as it should…even in the darkest of times!!

ALWAYS!!

Let’s all be BUBBLES, TOGETHER, as we navigate this new normal while we send our love and light to everyone affected by this and who are on the front lines, doing everything they can, to save ALL the human LIVES of the world!!

OH!!!!

And these past few weeks, while washing my hands (way more now than I ever have before!!), I started to tell myself to slow down, GET PRESENT and SEE all the bubbles that are forming from the soap on my hands as I move them back and forth.

Something I’ve never done before…usually, I just count to 20 or sing Happy Birthday twice, while looking all around me and checking my hands as quickly as I can all while thinking, I gotta get all the germs off of me! 20 seconds! 20 seconds gets rid of the germs…not 2 seconds..20!!

It calms my fears and worries with FEEL GOOD feelings and smiles!

LIFE CHANGER!!!

Because when I slow down while washing my hands, I DO SEE them and now instead of focusing on all the germs, I immediately think, I AM A BUBBLE…I AM CALM…I AM PEACE…I AM LOVE…I AM HEALTH…I AM WHOLE…I AM BEAUTIFUL…I AM SAFE and I AM SENDING LOVE AND LIGHT OUT TO THE WORLD!

Bubbles remind me that there is ALWAYS CALM in CHAOS (and in fear and worry and anger and frustration, too!)

And I LOVE it!!

Thank you, darkness! Thank you, circles! Thank you, bubbles! Thank you, doodle painting!

I definitely NEEDED this reminder!!

I AM SO VERY GRATEFUL!!

OH!!

And, my boy MADE it through his tough time and finally was able to go to school without being sad that he was leaving me! YAAAAY!!

Best feeling ever!!

And, lastly, I wanted to share ‘my painting thought's’ journal from this day…filled with ALL my left and right-brain thoughts that came through while I was painting my bubbles! ;)

When I first started painting, I never wrote anything down. But the more I calm my mind through mindless-creativity, the more I connect to the most AMAZING messages and the more I saw that I needed to get a journal to write down all the thoughts that were coming through.

I write pages and pages nows! It’s absolutely incredible!!

So if you start painting in this way, be sure to get a ‘painting thoughts’ journal so you, too, can write down all your left and right brain thoughts that come through you!

It’s different for everyone! Just like CREATIVITY!

We are ALL one, but, at the same time, we ALL have unique talents and messages that come through us!

And, remember, I don’t do this to be a professional artist or doodler. I don’t do this to learn new art skills so I can become a professional artist one day and sell my work. I don’t do this so someone can teach me, step-by-step, how to draw or paint something for a certain, perfect outcome.

I ONLY do this for how it FEELS within ME.

I do this because it’s restorative meditation for my mind.

I meditate (calm!) my body by laying down and listening to calming music while closing my eyes for 20 minutes, BUT, I meditate (calm!) my mind by mindlessly playing with color (doodling, hand lettering and doodle painting!) like I did when I was a kid…no rules…no directions to follow…ONLY for fun and inner CALM and inner JOY!!

Until next time…

Why do I doodle paint? Because it easily calms my mind and soothes my soul so I can connect more to what my heart and soul truly wants and needs no matter how busy and stressful motherhood may be (something that's hard to do when my mind is running five miles ahead or behind the present moment).

Tools used: liquitex basics acrylic paints | canson mixed media sketchbook | michaels $5 pack of paintbrush set

Creativity CALMs my mind, ignites my JOY and slows me down so I can SAVOR everything I LOVE in my life.

Who I am is what I love...SAVOR it!