Last week, C started her official first day of Pre-K.

I'm still trying to adjust to her not being with me every morning during the week.

She was SUPER excited to start. I think talking about it and role playing driving and dropping her off and picking her up helped with her excitement.

Letting her pick out her own backpack helped as well. (I want her to always remember her first backpack!)

But, nothing would prepare us for the first day of actually dropping her off and leaving her with people she's not used to being around.

When I saw both of my kiddos standing at the door, like this, before leaving, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Yes, this day has finally come. The day I send my little girl out into the big, big world without me. The day I'm SO not ready for!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!"

Looking at the view outside, I couldn't help but feel SO many mixed emotions. Basically, I was a nervous wreck!!

I'm SO SO SO excited that she gets to start her journey beyond just hanging and learning from me, but I'm also SO SO SO scared for what she's gonna learn and be exposed to out there in the big blue (Finding Nemo fun there...hehe!) and I can't be there to protect her.

When those fearful emotions come up (OFTEN!), I keep telling myself over and over and putting the intention out there that she'll always be surrounded by the most nurturing care givers, teachers and friends who make her feel good and help her grow more into who she is when she's not with me. ;)

Soon after FEELING all those emotions in like 2 seconds flat, C was yelling at me to go.

"Come on, mom!! Let's GOOOOO!!!"

Driving there my stomach was a mess. Mainly because I've never left her with others like this. Only our babysitter and her grandparents.

We walked in the door and one second later she started to cry, which I think, was because we walked right into the 2 year olds, some of whom, we're crying for their mommies. :(

C started to cry and began to come up with every excuse of not staying there; She was tired. She had to go potty. She wanted to go home. All while full on tears we're happening.

Then her teacher picked her up and walked away from me with her. During this time C had her hands out toward me screaming, "MOMMY!! HELP!!"

OMG!!! Every fiber in me wanted to run and just grab her, but I knew this was the "official" time for me to let go because she's more than ready for school and we both need to adjust to not being with each other all the time.

So, I left as fast I could, holding lil' bro in my arms, and then crying like a crazy mama once I was out the door.

I got in the car and I was shaking and crying. Of course, I called D, my mom and a friend to help me calm down, because to me, this was the WORST thing EVER!!

I waited 30 minutes to call the school to see how she was. Those 30 minutes took FOREVER!!

Thankfully, when I did call, she was laying down and calm. Whew!!!

The next 2 and 1/2 hours were dreadful. It's been a very long time since 2 and 1/2 hours took forever in my life. I haven't even been able to keep track with time, the days of the week and the current date since I became a stay at home mom. LOL!

So yeah, I couldn't wait to go get her.

Luckily, the school never called and she made it through her morning. When I picked her up she was happy. HOORAY!!!

The rest of the day, she was smiling and upbeat. Deep down, I knew we made a great choice. But, I still had to get through the rest of the week, which, I'm happy to say, we did!

She cried less on Tuesday. On Wednesday she hid behind me, but didn't cry. And Thursday she jumped with glee over to her friends. WOOHOO!!

And she's been happy ever since.

This first day of school stuff...sending your teeny tiny one off into the world, in my opinion, is hands down harder than 9 months of pregnancy and 12 hours of labor. I even think it's harder than when they get shots at the doctor.

Even when I see other kiddos crying for their parents, I still get emotional. It's SO freakin' tough!!

But, now, seeing how happy my little girl is everyday, seeing her little friends greet her at the door and hug her when she leaves, seeing her face light up when I pick her up and hearing her re-enact school everyday in the afternoons...that makes it all worth it.

This shows me that those 30 minutes of worry and crying and screaming and hoping she's happy, seem so little in comparison to all the joy she (and I) is being filled up with everyday while at school.

And, not only that, seeing how well she adapted to a foreign place really gave me something to think about.

It's been SO long since I've been in school. Since I'm home everyday taking care of my kiddos, I don't spend the majority of my time going places and meeting others I don't know.

Seeing how I put C in an environment where she knew no one, but an environment that I know was the best for her, and how she has met friends and has become more confident and happy in less than a week, I see now, how important it is for me to keep doing these types of things as well in my adult life.

There are SO many workshops and conferences I wanna attend. But, sometimes, I'll think, I can't go by myself.

Or I'll see a local photography meetup and think, that'll be fun, but it would be more fun to go to if I had a photography friend to show up with for the first time.

It's SO easy for me to stay in my comfort zone as I've grown older.

C's first day of school not only helped her, but it helped me as well.I've made a pact to myself that once my mommy schedule opens up more, I'm going to get out in the world (all by myself) and attend groups and workshops and get togethers that are geared toward everything I love.

Because I know, in the end, I'll be just like C, more happy and more confident and living with more joy.

Now, let's just hope when lil' bro starts school in a few years his transition is easier. ;)

Here's to the first day of school...for the kiddos and the parents!! Cheers!!

Oh, and, if you're interested in learning about an awesome school that allows their students, whom are trying new things and blossoming their inner, unique interests and then guides them to continue to pursue their interests so their passion can grow, check out Preshil, Victoria, Australia. When I came across their website and their philosophy for their students I was immediately drawn in and wishing for more schools like theirs closer to where I live. Great, GREAT, stuff and worth the look!!

Until next time...

Life IS beautifully uncomfortable ...SAVOR it up!