Stopping to Savor Moments Again (It's Been Way Too Long!)
Photo taken with iPhone, edited in PicTapGo App
If you've been following me for awhile now, you may remember that I LOVED sharing pictures that made me stop and smile.
I've ALWAYS loved using my camera (especially my iPhone!) to EASILY pull me out of my busy mama, to-do list, head and truly SAVOR a moment that stopped me in my tracks and made me smile and filled my heart up with so much love and joy.
Well, let's just say...it's been WAY TOO LONG since I've done this.
I don't know why, well, actually I do...because I'm EXHAUSTED!!
And because of that, I've disconnected from something I absolutely LOVE!
Capturing moments that stop me in my tracks because they're making me smile and filling my heart UP with LOVE!!!
I didn't completely stop, but I've gotten to a place where I don't even think about getting my camera out anymore when I see something that's making me smile.
I've gotten to the place where I never, ever, wanted to go...a place that just has me seeing a moment (or not even seeing the moment at all!) that makes me stop and smile, but then I race by it after smiling real quick so I can get back to focusing on all the TO-DOs that are still taking up major space in my head.
Well...I've had enough of doing what my heart NEVER, EVER wanted to do, so I'm pulling out my iPhone again so I can reconnect back to the mom I've always wanted to be and have gotten so very far away from.
A mom who is 100% present with her kids and who is way more focused on what she loves than what she doesn't love (like all the exhaustion and stress that I feel from being a mom).
So when the kids were having lunch the other day and I was at the sink cleaning up all the dishes that I had dirtied from making them cheese quesadilla's and smoothies. I looked over at them, because they were laughing so hard, or, shall say, because L was laughing SO hard and I stopped, grabbed my iPhone and SAVORed the moment even more.
Forget the dishes!! The way C makes L laugh SO hard is WAY more important to my mama heart!! I LOVE how he always says she's SO funny. No matter what she does, he thinks she is just the funniest girl in the world and that just fills my mama-heart with SO much LOVE!!!
The dishes will always be there, but them, little, laughing together, in this moment, will not be!
So the sound of both of them getting along, laughing, giggling and thinking of ways to laugh even more together (instead of fighting with each other and calling each other names!) IS the perfect reminder for me to grab my camera (again!!) and BE MORE PRESENT and 100% more FOCUSED on!!!
And that's what I did.
photo taken with iPhone and edited in PicTapGo App
I put down the sponge and soap.
I grabbed my iPhone as quietly as I could.
I kept the water running so they wouldn't know I was capturing them.
And I stood there, snapping and savoring every bit of the moment, all while I smiled BIG and laughed right along with them.
My heart is sad that I disconnected from this.
My life as a mom IS busy.
And because of that, I struggle with staying connected to everything I love.
It's way easier to focus on everything that has me pulled in every direction all at once.
So I think, when D and I went on our last hike, and I was reconnected with WHY I love photography so much (because it allows me BE PRESENT and truly SEE and BE in moments that make me stop and smile and fill my heart UP with LOVE!!), I realize that IT WAS TIME to pick up my iPhone camera again!!
I remembered that this (BEing present to the moments I love with my iPhone, or any camera!) is something I absolutely LOVE doing.
I realized that I've let myself disconnect with something that truly brings me JOY and helps me BE a better mom!!
And I don't EVER want to steer away from it again.
But let me tell you, there were SO many times I wanted to go grab my camera when I saw a moment that was making me smile. But my mind would tell me, nah, don't go get it. You're more present when you're not behind your lens. You're better off just sitting here and watching the moment real quick.
Even though I knew, deep down, that if I got my camera, I'd connect to my JOY even more but I'd let my mind and my exhaustion take over instead and I'd smile real quick and then go immediately back to whatever mama task was needed of me at the time.
And, I was NOT present...not at all!! I may have been looking at the moment, but I was more focused on the thoughts in my head than what was going on right in front of me. My mind was NOT right!
Now that I've woken back up and reconnected with WHY I take pictures (thanks to our AMAZING last hike in Virginia!!), I know that if I listen to my mind and just sit there and watch the moment real quick, I'm NOT 100% present for the moment and I'm NOT 100% connected to the JOYous FEELING that the moment is bringing me.
But if I listen to my heart and I go and grab my camera, I'll connect with my heart even more and I'll connect to the JOY even more, because I won't be focused on all the 50 million (non-joyous!!) things that I need to do all at once as a mother.
I will truly STOP the noise in my head and I'll truly FEEL and SEE the LOVE I'm feeling or SEEING even more.
My camera is SO powerful in helping me truly STOP and BE PRESENT to everyone AND everything I LOVE in my life!!
It's way to easy for me to stay stuck in my head and focus on everything I don't love (like cleaning up the dishes 100 times every single day!!!), but my camera (no matter the one, my DSLR or my iPhone!), EASILY pulls me out of my "I don't love this funk!!!" and brings me back to everything that has me saying, "I LOVE THIS!!"
My camera allows me to FEEL LOVE even more!!
Instead of just looking at it real quick and then getting back to being in my head and making sure I'm getting all my to-do list tasks done.
So, yeah, when I hear or see my kiddos giggling, I'm going to continue to STOP what I'm doing and I'm gonna go grab my camera SO I can truly BE in those moments that I wish could last forever because I love them so much!!
Gosh, it FEELS GOOD to be back!!
I'm not 100% there yet. My mind still has a very huge pull over me, and my exhaustion still would rather me just sit and numb out while I scroll my phone, but I'm determined to get back to my old self, because I know, once I finally get over my mind-exhaustion-hump, I'll be well on my way to choosing to BE present to my JOY than choosing to be present to my exhaustion!!
Until next time...
Here's to savoring the moment (again!!). Cheers!!!
See something that makes you stop and smile. Grab your camera!! It'll slow you down, pull you into the present moment even more and have you SAVORing your JOY feeling even more!! And most of all, it will allow you to SEE things that you may have passed by (like your kids giggling and having the most special moment together while they're eating lunch together!). The camera...it's powerful...especially when it comes to FEELING JOY and BEing more PRESENT! :)
That's WHY I take pictures!! The camera is one of my favorite creative tools that easily pulls me out of my frazzled + overwhelmed mama head so I can fully SAVOR (the feeling of) everything that makes me stop, smile and lights me UP with LOVE (something that's hard for me to do when my mind is running five miles ahead or behind the present moment)