Nine Summers Left
A week from this Friday, my girl turns nine!
At first, I thought of it like any other birthday, one we will celebrate for her like we always do with cake, presents, a house full of themed decorations that she has chosen and a fun day out on the town with our little family or a party with her friends.
But, a few weeks back, we were at our neighborhood pool and I was looking at the high school kids, by themselves, without any parent in sight with them and I thought...
"OMG!! She's turning nine!! NINE!! I only have NINE more summers until she's out of the house and on her own for good!! OMG!! NINE MORE YEARS!!! These first NINE years have flown by and these next NINE summers are going to fly by, too!
And...
"Not only that, it's not even going to be NINE more summers. It's going to be less than that, because soon, she's going to be those teenagers, out at the pool, with no parent in sight!!"
WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
I absolutely love watching her (and her brother!) grow up and become more and more connected to her (his) unique, independent self, and I want her to FLY into adulthood.
But, at the same time, it's oh, SO sad that I only have less than NINE more summers left with her home, under my roof, where I know the majority of everything she's doing. And I don't want her to ever leave the nest and never, ever grow up!!
Peter Pan!! Where are you when I need you!? Ha!
I know it's going to take some time for me to transition when she's finally out in the world on her own and when she starts driving herself around.
Because, yeah, all these years, ever since she was born, nine years ago, all I've ever known is doing everything for her.
But her NOT needing me all the time for every little thing (like take her to the pool, drive her to have a playdate with her friends and cook her food)...that's going to be SO WEIRD!! Ha!
So, yeah, this birthday of hers this year has truly connected me to some major awareness as to how much longer I have left with her (and her brother...he only has 12 summers left, but again, that's less than that thanks to teenager life! ha!) that I hadn't thought much about...until I saw those high school kids at the pool.
Honestly, I'm SO glad I saw them, because, if I hadn't (it's been SO long since I've been around high school kids!), I might not have had these thoughts and this new awareness.
Because now, I'm way more motivated than ever to make sure I'm doing everything I can to BE present with her and spend as much time as I can with her (and her brother!) during these next nine years (and summers!) ahead.
Because, yeah...it' goes by so freakin' fast!! (thanks Jimmy John's for that saying! Ha!) and I have to do everything I can, even during my most frazzled days when I just want to quit being a mom, to SAVOR this time together, with both of my kids, these next nine to twelve summers ahead!!
Motherhood...like I always say, is absolutely bittersweet!!
Until next time...
Why do I hand letter uplifting words? Because it easily calms my mind and soothes my soul so I can remember to SAVOR my kids no matter how overwhelming and stressful my day may be AND no matter how many more summers I have left with them (something that's hard to do when my mind is running five miles ahead or behind the present moment).
Tools used: black super sharpie | sakura koi watercolors | canson mixed media sketchbook | edited in Adobe Photoshop