Back in March, I posted about how I’ve been avoiding the one thing I need the most….which is painting!

And then, the other day, when I posted my fly hand lettering, I spoke about ever since the kids started school again, I’ve pretty much been doing nothing!

Well…that’s not 100% true. I actually started to do something! ;)

The more I was sitting around and doing “nothing”(…AKA…resting!) the more I saw how it was time for me to sit down and paint again.

I could tell my mind was very, very deep in left-brain-land (uh, hello I’m so tired I don’t want to do anything thoughts mixed in with some anxiety thoughts and lots and lots of judgmental and comparison thoughts thanks to scrolling social media for too long!) and was in major need of some right-brain-land activity (hello, mindless painting!).

When I used to blog more consistently (pre social media days!) I did a challenge with myself where I did a 21 day doodle calm thoughts challenge with myself …the blog post I wrote really explains it SO well as to WHY I did this, too!

It was wonderful!

At first, it was a little bumpy, because yeah, my left brain does NOT want to take a break from controlling my thoughts for a bit so my right brain thoughts can come out and play, but, every day, when I created something mindlessly, my thoughts began to balance and calm and my inner JOY ignited.

That was seven years ago! OMG!!

And, wouldn’t you know, I’m kinda in the exact same place now (except I’m in a way better place when it comes to my weight and nutrition!)…and my husband was telling me way back then to just focus on ME and I’d try to listen to him but I didn’t!

And now, I’m finally doing what he was telling me do…6 years later…but I have to say, I think it’s taken me SO long because the kids were home with me all day long and now that they’re in school it’s WAY easier to do ME…but I don’t think if I didn’t have my husband telling me to take care of ME and I didn’t have the coaching with Liv Lane (more on this below!), I’d still be trying to create content for others instead of myself.

So it all needed to happen the way it did these past seven years, but I’ve definitely stepped way too far away from creating and mindlessly painting every day though…so this daily doodle flower painting challenge has come at the exact right time, just like my 21 day doodle calm thoughts challenge I did seven years ago!

Ahh..adult life…it does that to ya! With so much going on and so much to do and keep up with…and not to mention all the mindless social media scrolling I’ve been doing now…it’s easy to let my creativity take a back seat…well, not anymore!!

Because I saw how badly I needed to calm my mind through doodle painting, I’d sit down to paint, but I just wasn’t feelin’ it…especially after I’d just cover all the white with a color.

As soon as I’d paint over the white with a color, I was like, “Eh…I’m done!” Because I couldn’t FEEL or think of what I wanted to paint next.

Then, a few days later, I thought, “YES!! I’ll just paint my doodle flower every day…that’ll get me going! That’ll break me though my left brain funk!”

It’s AMAZING how my left brain LOVES to keep me safe and alive but it also LOVES to keep me very, very stuck!!

So once I got that intuitive hit to just paint a doodle flower, it was ON!!

Because every time I sit down to paint and it’s been a very long time since I’ve painted, I always, ALWAYS, start with my doodle flower because they come SO easy for me (it’s what I used to doodle in my high school notebook when I was bored in class!) and they don’t have me digging deep to “think” much, which is ALWAYS what my busy mama needs when I finally get some alone time to myself in a very, very, quiet house!

Um, why didn’t I think of this before? Oh, yeah…because my left brain has been very, very, in control!!

Thank goodness my right brain spoke up loudly so I could finally HEAR!!

So I started my daily flower painting with the thought of wanting to document it so I could share my process and all the shifts that were occurring for me here on my blog.

Because nowadays, everyone is sharing the “process” and I absolutely LOVE watching when people share it, so I wanted to do the same.

I started to document it, but then I realized that I was still having to “think” deeply and it just wasn’t flying.

Because I’m a photographer, not a videographer! And my mind was mush and wasn’t liking the fact that I had to learn something new…OMG! Ha!

I’d document a a few, but then when I was done, the camera was flipped and I had no idea how to flip the video back to its right position in iMovie.

So, yeah…I quit!! Ha!

Nah, but seriously, I realized to myself that at this moment in time, I really just wanted to go back to doing it like I used in 2011…just share the end product…because right now this is about ME and calming MY mind….it’s not about adding more things to my to-do list right now!

And, yeah…I tend to over think things…a lot..thanks to my amazing left brain…whom I love dearly! :)

I also realized that I didn’t need to be thinking about anything else except ME and MY time sitting and FEELING calm through doodle painting…the documenting will come at the right time and I’ll feel ready when it’s time and not frustrated like I was in that moment while trying to document it all from the get-go!

So I stopped.

Which is HUGE!! Because seven years ago, I wouldn’t have…I would have pushed through because I need to share this with others!! That’s the only thing that matters…sharing with others…helping others!! I can’t just do me…it has to always be about serving others! Not me!

At the same time, I deactivated all my social media accounts and let me tell you…it’s been WONDERFUL!!

I think since I’m going on week 5 of being off Facebook and Instagram, my mind is starting to balance out and I’m feeling ready to video my process again.

And, it’s actually been fun for ME to see the video at the end.

I’m actually loving seeing my own process and what’s even more cool is that during the painting my left brain can tell me how ugly the painting is looking and how I’m crazy to share this very unprofessional art with the world because it looks like a toddler just painted it.

But when I see the video play back I smile BIG and I’m filled with JOY and I think, “Yes…painting like a toddler again is my #1 way to easily calm my mind and it is my #1 way to be excited to share whatever I create with the world no matter what their opinions are of it…because that’s exactly what toddlers and young children do…they have absolutely no fear when it comes to sharing what they’ve created..and I want to be the same way AGAIN…while living my 41 years old life!!

Because, yes, I was once that fearless toddler and young child, too! And now that I know what I know about balancing my left and right brain hemispheres with mindless, creative fun, I never, ever want my fearless toddler and young kid within me to die again…never!!

And this…this toddler like painting…IS what is going to keep my fearless and creative and JOYful self alive…for as long as live my life!!

OH YEAH!!!!

I needed to just chill at the beginning, but now I’m ready to showcase my shifts from left brain to right brain here with you all.

And what better way to start then with my most recent flower below!

You’ll see that it probably looks the best out of all the ones I’ve done so far.

I posted them most recent to least recent.

But, it was funny…with my most recent one I did, it had been about a week or so since I had painted, so when I sat down and started painting again, my thoughts started going nuts.

I had thoughts like…

“Do you really want to do this for people? Do you really want to inspire others to doodle paint? Is doodling painting REALLY your passion?” (hello, left brain!)

Which I know why these thoughts popped up…because I can get very stuck with what I’m supposed to be doing beyond motherhood and if I’m making the right choice with what my passion is.

At first, I was like,

“Um…NO!…I don’t see myself doing this for others…this isn’t my passion…I don’t feel ignited with JOY at all while I’m painting this right now and I’m not a painter…I’m a photographer…my moms passion is painting..not mine!”

But then, immediately, I heard,

“Well, yeah…I don’t see myself doing this for others right now because right now I’m ONLY doing this for myself!! This isn’t about others right now…this is about ME and calming my mind through doodle painting…ME!! ONLY ME!!” (hello, right brain!)

Because for over a year now, with the help of some coaching work with Liv Lane back in Spring of 2016, I’ve finally let go of trying to service everyone else and not me.

I realized that I was moving in a direction that didn’t put my JOY first. I was constantly thinking about how I could help others and not truly thinking about how I could help myself.

It’s taken me some time to shift to this new way of thinking, because, yes, isn’t that what we’re told all the time and isn’t that why we have jobs and careers…to help and service others?

Yes, but for me, I was SO focused on everyone else and helping them that I lost touch with ME and who I am and what I love and what I need to nurture myself and my soul.

So now, my JOY, my self care, my soul needs come FIRST!!!

So after I finished…

I realized something profound!

When I had first sat down to get my inner-kid-like-creativity on, way back when my daughter was one, and I was knee deep in left-brain-land, especially since I was a new mom, my left brain was MAD!!!!

As soon as I’d start coloring and doodling in my new moleskine art journal while my daughter napped my left brain was telling me (loud and clear!) that it was stupid to be sitting there coloring like a kid…I’m not a kid anymore…I’m an adult…I have laundry to do…I should be blogging so I can make it business instead…I should NOT be coloring like a kid and it looks awful anyway, so yeah…I should NOT be coloring!!"

Oh man…it was BAD!!

But, something in me didn’t listen…I wanted to sit there an continue to color and doodle in my new art journal.

And what happened the other day…it was very similar.

Except, instead of my left brain telling me that I’m NOT a kid anymore and I shouldn’t be coloring like one because I had more important “adult” things to do it was trying to tell me that I do NOT want to be doing this for others so why should I be sitting there painting if it’s not something I’m truly passionate about.

That I should stop and just go do something else…like watch a TV show, because I never get to watch my favorite TV shows when the kids are in the house…so this is my time to just BE on the couch and veg out to bad reality shows or something!

So, yeah…I realized that it was the same subject line, different words…DO NOT PAINT OR COLOR (uh…thanks left brain!)…and that since my left brain is SO loud with it’s words, this just means that I need to mindlessly, create more than ever right now…because when the left brain is that loud…it means it’s been way too long since my right brain got some loving nourishment in.

When my left brain is telling me all reasons why this shouldn’t be happening and that I should just quit…that’s the time I need to be truly aware that my left brain is running the show and in need of much needed break because I’m at a point where I can’t hear the intuitive, loving and JOYful thoughts that my right brain provides.

But, just like what happened six years ago when those left brain thoughts came up, something in me kept going (thank goodness!!).

Like I said, it’s AMAZING to see the shift from left to right brain when I FINALLY break through the left brain funk and I sit down and start to mindlessly create again.

It’s amazing to see how the left brain does NOT want to take a back seat for a much needed rest, too! Oh man!

I always feel bad for my right brain, because it’s doing its part every day, but because my left brain gets all the attention (it has to, because all the to-do’s in my busy mama life are needed!), my right brain has to work extra hard to be heard…that is, until I start mindlessly creating! OH YEAH!!

But it’s true…I just have to start mindlessly creating…daily…just like I focus on my to-do list…daily…because that’s the only way my left brain to-do’s will stay in balance and keep me connected to my inner most JOYous and creative and passionate and loving self!

Which, yes, can be very HARD to do when my “adult” life (well…all adult lives!) is predominately lived in left brain thoughts…but just like with everything…I have to just do it and take those first steps and then I’ll be on my way again to feeling calm, JOYous and oh, so present while I’m savoring everything I love in my busy mama life!

And when I finished that awesome flower up there…my right brain was able to tell me…

“Yes…eventually, I do want to do this for people…but not only for people…I DO THIS FOR MY KIDS!!”

“Because if there’s one thing I want them to learn from me…as their lives are just getting started and as they grow older living in this very left brain dominated world we live in and more stress comes their way is that if they’re struggling or having major left brain thoughts that they suck or aren’t good enough or are hurt because of friends or something isn’t going there way or they’re constantly judging themselves and others and are comparing themselves to others, I’m going to tell them to mindlessly CREATE…whatever that CREATIVITY is for them…but I will tell them to doodle paint…because doodling painting IS the door opener to connecting to the unique, creative talents we were born with and it’s the #1 way that I’ve found to easily calm the stress of the mind…and I if there’s anything I want for them is that I want them to be able to keep their creativity alive, because it’s that creativity that’s going to help them stay more calm, more balanced, more happy, more creative, more JOYous and more present in, again, our very stressful and very left brain dominated world!”

And, yeah…I’d love to inspire others with this powerful message that CREATIVITY and DOODLE PAINTING provides, too!

So take that left brain!!! Ha!

I know you’re oh so good for me and I need you to keep me safe and organized and alive, but I also need my right brain just as much as you, because my right brain keeps me feeling calm, rejuvenated and LESS STRESSED and JOYful when I give it the same attention as you!

It’s all about balance…and I have been very far from it!!

So now, let my daily flower doodle painting challenge begin!!!

I can’t wait to see what’s to come!! YAAAAY!!!

Until next time...

Why do I doodle paint? Because it easily calms my mind and soothes my soul so I can connect more to what my heart truly wants and needs no matter how busy and stressful my mama day may be (something that's hard to do when my mind is running five miles ahead or behind the present moment).

Tools used: liquitex basics acrylic paints | canson mixed media sketchbook | michaels $5 pack of paintbrush set

Creativity CALMs my mind, ignites my JOY and slows me down so I can SAVOR everything I LOVE in my life.

Who I am is what I love...SAVOR it!