New Schools. New Worries. New Gifts Revealed!
These two started FIRST and FOURTH GRADE last week!!
And, boy I was a MESS!!
It's not easy living this military life that we live and having to move all the time and start all over again.
Especially when we moved from a place that we ALL truly fell in love with.
So when they started last week, my mind was on overdrive with worry.
Will they love this new school as much as they LOVED their school last year in Virginia?
Will they fit in and make new friends easily?
Will they be behind because they're learning a new curriculum?
Will they THRIVE in this county like they did in the county in Virginia? (Because there's nothing like Albemarle County in Virginia...nothing like it!!)
Will they come home happy like they did every single day last year?
Will they love their new teacher?
Will their teachers be as loving and nurturing as their teachers last year?
Will they come home wishing they were still in Virginia (like I do!)?
And on top of those worries, I was even more worried because this year they are both at two different schools AND C's school is a "middle" school.
What!? I AM SO NOT READY for her to be in MIDDLE school. She was supposed to still be in elementary school for another two years...not middle school right now!! OMG!!!
So, yeah, having them at two different schools, I thought...
"My mind is going to be a mess with having them at two different schools and having to remember two different school times and everything else that comes with school and calendar events and such.
I was ALREADY stressed out with the parking from both of their meet and greets...it was CRAZY and oh, so STRESSFUL!! I had never experienced anything like it.
And then I thought...
"They NEED to be at the same school...they NEED to be together since we don't know anyone...they NEED that comfort of knowing their sibling is in the same building with them...I NEED that comfort that they both have each other...like they did last year!"
Oh gosh! I loved picking them up after school last year. It was the first time they were both in school, full-time, together.
It was so neat hearing them talk about things that would happen at school...like how they did the same thing at PE that day or how the principal was SO funny that day or how they both knew each other friends from their classes.
So, yeah...I wasn't ready to give that up just yet because it brought SO much JOY to my heart.
One year wasn't enough!
So when their first day of school came last week, even though I had all these worrisome and sad emotions flowing through me I did everything possible to not let it show.
I gotta stay strong and excited and happy for my kiddos so they view this as a positive, rather than a negative! And, yes, we talk about how being nervous is normal, but still...I was SO, SO nervous and I think I did a pretty good job at not letting it show...or, I hope I did!
The kids were up EARLY with excitement and L and I walked C to school to that morning, because this year, we're able to do that because we're SO close to her school.
I wasn't able to walk her to class, because, yeah, this is middle school now, mom!!
I was sad, but ever since we've moved here, we've only heard GREAT things about the schools so I wasn't too worried.
I was more worried about the girls who hugged right in front of us because they knew each other and I wishing that was C and her friends from last year and I was hoping C wasn't as affected it by it as I was since she was the "new" girl there.
But then, as we were walking away a teacher asked me where L was going to school and she said her son goes to his school and she knew who his teacher was and she was a great one.
That made me feel better for when I had to bring him in and it was another reminder to keep my mind more focused on how my kids are in great schools here and, just like always, it'll be OK!
But, still, my heart was sad and I was still nervous since I had one more kiddo to go with this new school transition stuff!
Once I brought in my happy, school loving, boy (I was able to walk him in...yay!!) and as I was walking out to my car, I looked out toward the sky and I didn't see any mountains (like I did every single time walking out of their school last year) and the tears started to flow.
I miss the mountains!!
I was trying so hard to hold it together while walking back to my car...but man, it was hard. I felt like it was the first day of Kindergarten for both of my kiddos all over again! LOL!
Then the day DRAGGED!!
Like every first day of school ALWAYS does for me!!
As much as I can't wait for them to start school after being home with me all day during the summer, it's always a sad day for me when I send them off.
It's truly an adjustment beause I get SO used to being with them all day, every day again and even though they drive me CRAZY I'm just not ready to send them out into the world without me just yet.
I picked them up HAPPY!!!
YAAAY and WHEW!!!!
But then later that night, C started saying she wished it was still summer and she didn't want to go to school and then my mama heart saddened and was filled with lots of fear!!
I was immediately brought back to our time here when she was in 2nd grade and she didn't want to go to school.
The only day she said she wanted to go to school was on the very last day of school.
It was a very stressful year and we weren't happy with the school she was at...and it was a year that she got very quiet and was afraid to ask questions if she didn't understand something.
So after a few conferences with her teacher last year to help her teacher have a better understanding of where we came from, C blossomed back to her true, school loving, self again!!
It took the first two quarters for her and I to finally RELAX after our stressful year the year before. It was CRAZY!!! It should never have been like that for a second grader and a second-grade parent!! CRAZY!!
SO when she said she didn't want to go I went straight back to my fearful thoughts and then I was immediately MISSING Virginia again!!
And the fearful thoughts just wouldn't stop either!
I was like, "What is wrong with me!?"
Usually, I can shake it off...but that night, it wasn't stopping!!
I didn't sleep well that night, but, the next morning, since I was up so early, I decided to get my workout in before the kids woke up.
I've thought about doing this but wasn't sure if it would work with the kids being at two different schools and having two different start times.
Oh, was it needed!! It shifted my negative energy and I felt so much better!
Then, to top it all off, C didn't say one word about not wanting to go to school that morning and she was happy as a clam because she was SO excited to ride her bike to school...all by herself!!
OH MY GOSH!! I needed that even more because I really thought she was going to say she didn't want to go. So when she didn't, and I saw that she was HAPPY to go, I realized those words the night before were stemming from her being tired because when she first got home, she was HAPPY with her new school.
While brushing L's teeth before leaving to get him to school a MAJOR shift happened.
Usually, the mornings are SO hectic.
The kids are tired...I'm tired...the kids are fighting...I'm losing my patience and raising my voice...I'm rushing them to go...to get out the door...so we can get to school on time...I'm nagging and nagging them to BRUSH THEIR TEETH all while making sure they don't forget backpacks, snacks and lunch!!!!
So in that moment, while in the bathroom with L, brushing his teeth, I thought...
"Having them at two schools IS WONDERFUL!!"
"OMG!!"
"THIS IS WONDERFUL!!!"
When I was journaling my worries about moving back to Louisana while in Virginia last year (because I'll be honest, Louisianna isn't our favorite state), the words...IT WILL BE WONDERFUL came through.
So while brushing L's teeth...I finally saw and FELT the WONDERFUL that I had journaled months ago!!!
Then it all hit me...YES!! THIS IS GOING TO BE WONDERFUL!!!
It's not going to be stressful...it's going to be WONDERFUL!!
I see it now!! I see it!!
There was absolutely NO REASON for me to be worried! No reason at all!!
Here I was SO nervous and SO worried that having them at two separate schools was going to awful and so very stressful when really, having them at two different schools is allowing our mornings to BE wonderful!!
Something that we wouldn't have been able to experience for another two years if we were still in Virginia!
And, what's even better is that L is starting later than C. If it was reversed, he would've been SO TIRED and the mornings still wouldn've been rushed. C is SO much better at getting up earlier...so, yes...THIS SCHEDULE AT TWO DIFFERENT SCHOOLS IS WONDERFUL!!
Because L is still lounging and relaxing while C's getting ready I get to focus on her and only her...we get some one-on-one time in the morning now and I'm not rushing BOTH of them out the door as fast as I can.
I'm not even rushing her out the door because she gets to walk or ride her bike...which IS wonderful!!
Then, when she leaves, I get to focus only on L...and he has an hour and 15 minutes before we have to leave.
I'm not rushing him out the door because he's had time to wake up and relax a little bit SO he's ready to leave when it's time...which IS wonderful!!
And getting my work out in before they woke up for the day...IS WONDERFUL!! OMG!!
Because let me tell you...I've been struggling for years on how to get my workouts in. Even last year I tried to do it before the kids woke up but L would come find me and would be crying because he didn't want to be alone in the room (he still comes into my bedroom at night), but now I have our treadmill in our bedroom, so he's still asleep in bed while I get my workout in!!
It is WONDERFUL!!
It's WONDERFUL because once I'm done watching C walk or bike to her school entrance down our street, I have time to finish my workout with my weights and then take my shower because L is happily content watching TV and eating his breakfast while starting his day...slowly!!
I'm ready...and then I have LOTS of time to get L ready and I'm NOT rushing ANYONE out the door!!
Everyone IS happy in the morning!! WOOHOOO!!!!
IT'S WONDERFUL and it's something I have never, EVER, experienced since C started school and I had to drag L out of bed to get her there and then wake him up to pick her up at the end of her day.
Poor L! He's always been woken up from his sleep. C...she never experience that since she was the first born. ;)
But because he's always lacked his naps and sleep, we've definitely felt the wrath of it all these years.
Mornings have always been intense and have ALWAYS made me feel like I just ran a marathon.
And then the afternoons...with both kids home, tired, doing homework and getting ready for the next day..not fun!!
But now....OMGOSH!! It's WONDERFUL!!
I get to meet C on our road...
Which is something else I realized is WONDERFUL!! We didn't see our house in person when we bought it...we only saw the pictures online, so we had no idea that there was a walkway to the back of her school from our road...so we TRULY lucked out because we got a house on the same exact road where the entrance to her school is...and since this is her first year walking and riding her bike I'm able to watch her do just that on our road...and our neighborhood is big!!
SO every day, I'm now giving thanks for our house and where it's located...because if we lived further out, I wouldn't have the luxury of watching her make it to the entrance of the school...so yes...THIS IS WONDERFUL!!! Woohooo!!
and then she and I get an hour of just her and I time.
She tells me all about her day.
I make her dinner because she's STARVING. I get her snacks and lunch ready for the next day.
She gets her homework done and then we bike around the neighborhood together.
IT IS WONDERFUL!!!
Then we pick up L together and he comes home oh, SO happy and he hasn't had one HUGE meltdown yet.
Oh gosh...the afternoons have always been hard because he'd be SO tired from Kindergarten...so I'm thinking it's because he starts later and he has slower mornings that he's not as tired after school...we shall see...it's still the beginning, but so far it's been WONDERFUL!!!
So, yeah...I was SO, SO nervous.
And I thought I wasn't ever going to see the good in all this and I really just wanted to get in the car with the kids and drive back up to Virginia so I could keep them in their old school, but now I see, I was going through some BIG emotions that were leading me to SEE something GOOD!!
When C came home that next day, all she kept saying was that she wished the school day hadn't ended...that she couldn't wait to go back and that she loves her school!!
And when I heard all about the JOY she experienced that day, I couldn't help but tell her...
YOU ROCK THIS MILITARY LIFE!!!!
She truly does.
They both do!!
And she reminded me, that yes, we all fell in love with Virginia and yes we ALL want to go back one day, but wherever we are...whenever we go...IT WILL BE WONDERFUL!!!
We found a house we LOVE!
We found a neighborhood we LOVE!!
And now we've found two schools and two school schedules we LOVE!!
My boy LOVES going to school....my girl LOVES walking and biking to school all on her own and I absolutely LOVE that I'm able to get my workout and shower in before both of my kiddos start their school day...and I absolutely LOVE that we will have slower school mornings with minimal fighting and minimal rushing these next three to four years!!
And now I see, even more, that when I'm feeling worrisome and fearful and it just isn't going away...that I just need to BE in...don't question it...just FEEL it...don't try to push it away...cry...feel sad...FEEL IT ALL...because soon enough...a GIFT will be revealed!
I was trying SO hard to pull myself out of it. I was trying SO hard to SEE the GOOD and the positive reasoning as to why the Universe has sent us back to Louisianna...but in those moments, I just couldn't get there.
But then, out of the blue, while brushing my son's teeth...the GIFT was REVEALED!!
The GIFT of how less stressful my mornings are now and how I get more time to take care of ME!!!
When I've had absolutely NO time to do just that since becoming a mom and living the military life that we live (meaning...I pretty much do EVERYTHING since I have NO ONE around to help me and since it takes time to meet people and learn the area when we move to a new state and area).
I'm SO thankful I connected to these GIFTS!!
And since I did...it feels like more and more are revealed.
I still miss Virginia...and fearful thoughts still come up.
Like last night when L was telling me all about the JOY of his school day, but then said he hasn't really met any friends...my heart got sad and I wished so badly he was at his old school seeing his old friends...
I think that's the hardest part of it all...I just wish they could see their old friends (and their old teachers!) on the first day of school or even throughout the year in the halls or at lunch or at recess.
My heart really does ache for that for them (and me!).
But because I've connected with these GIFTS...I know everything IS going to BE WONDERFUL...even if we feel a little sad at times because we miss the comfort of what we've grown to love and had to leave it.
So with that...let me show the obligatory FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL pics!!
Pics that my kiddos definitely lost JOY in...as you'll see in the end! Ha!
And, I mean, really...how is it that I have a FIRST and FOURTH GRADER already!?
They're all right!! It GOES BY SO FAST!! Especially once they start school!!
I was SO happy that pulled out my DSLR this year (it's been way too long!!).
I could have taken SO many, but they started to fizzle out...especially L! Ha!
Yep...dunzo!!
But luckily C let me get a few more of her like I used to do.
Hooray!!
So grown up!!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!! ;)
Gotta get that backpack pic in! ;)
Lil' Bro decided to come back out and join us and I talked him into one more pic of his backpack because this year he is ALL about Minecraft.
He wasn't happy about this, so I snapped as fast as I could because he was DUNZO!! Ha! :)
So yeah...even though we live this crazy, joyous military life and my mind can get all caught up in the worry of change, in the end, there's ALWAYS, ALWAYS, growth and GIFTS that are REVEALED!!
ALWAYS!!
And, honestly, my kiddos remind me that I need to ROCK THIS MILITARY LIFE, too!!
Well...at least I hope I already am...but, they weren't as fearful as I was on the first day of school...so yeah, they totally ROCK IT more than I do!! Ha!
I love change...but sometimes I think we have TOO MUCH of it.
I've grown SO much in SO many positive ways from it...but I'm getting to that point in my life where I'm ready to settle and grow roots in a community we love.
Moving IS exhausting!!
We've been living this military life for 14 years now and we've loved all the places we've lived, but last year, we truly fell in love with living in Crozet.
This was the first year I cried leaving a place (well, I cried when we left the home we lived in that C was born in when we lived in Williamsburg, VA...but the tears were only for the house, not for the entire area..ha!).
It was the first place where I truly felt like I was home.
And because of that, it was a hard place to leave.
But, I'm SO thankful we found a place we could call home because it's something I've been asking the Universe to find for us for years.
We had never really found a place we would to call our forever home in until last year.
And that's what's been SO WONDERFUL about being a military family.
If it wasn't for our lifestyle, I wouldn't have grown so much and I would never have learned SO much about the culture of the different states here in America.
I would have only known Florida.
Now I know Guam, Florida, Virginia and Louisianna!
But most of all, I now know that CHANGE is uncomfortable...CHANGE is challenging...but CHANGE is OH, SO GOOD because it helps YOU GROW more than you ever thought possible!!
My kiddos...they're SO lucky to learn this at a young age.
I see their GROWTH every day because of all the CHANGE we've made.
GROWTH that I didn't start to have until I married D, 14 years ago!
So even though this lifestyle is hard and even though I wish I could bring more comfort to my kiddos lives, in the end, they're gonna grow up SELF CONFIDENT and without ANY fear of CHANGE!!
I just know it!!
And if they do find themselves, like me, fearing change, they'll know in their heart, that it may be challenging at first to learn something new and to meet new people and to settle into a brand new area where you know absolutely NOTHING, but once things settle, and the area starts to become more and more familiar and more and more comfortable, everything is going to be OK and that life IS good...no matter the change and no matter where you are!! :)
Because that's EXACLTY what it's done for me!!
And I wasn't anywhere near that person before marrying D and becoming a military spouse.
NOWHERE NEAR IT!!!
Until next time...
See something that makes you stop and smile. Grab your camera!! It'll slow you down, pull you into the present moment even more and have you SAVORing your JOY feeling even more!! And most of all, it'll connect you to your soul so you can SEE and HEAR the things that you may have passed by (like your kids starting the first day of school!). The camera...it's powerful...especially when it comes to FEELING JOY and BEing more PRESENT! :)
That's WHY I take pictures!! The camera is one of my favorite creative tools that easily pulls me out of my frazzled + overwhelmed mama head so I can fully SAVOR (the feeling of) everything that makes me stop, smile and lights me UP with LOVE (something that's hard for me to do when my mind is running five miles ahead or behind the present moment)
This IS us!! This IS life! This IS mom life!!
Creativity calms...creativity ignites JOY and creativity slows you down so you savor everything you LOVE in your life.
Who you are is what you love!
