This Mother's Day I'm Reminded (Part Two)…
Today I wanted to sit down and write about all the ways motherhood has made me a better person since becoming a mother 11 years ago, but then I remembered that I had written a Mother’s Day post a few years ago.
Actually…it was back in May 2013 when my firstborn was 4 (she’s 10 now!) and my youngest was 1 (he’s 7 now!).
Seven years ago!! NO WAY!! It doesn’t seem like it was THAT long ago!
But when I read it…it made me teary!! The words I wrote are EXACTLY how I still FEEL today!
And because of that, I thought I’d re-post it with some updates throughout the post (in parentheses…because I ALWAYS want to remember the moments from today AND the moments from when my kiddos were 1 and 4!! THE BEST!) and then and update at the end to what I want to remember today!
Alright, let’s get to it! Woohoo!! :)
This Mother’s Day I’m reminded…
That I'm SO very grateful that these two littles of mine chose ME as their mom.
That the LOVE I have for my kids only comes with FEELING...not words. When I truly LOVE something, I FEEL it as warm, happy tingles from head to toe which leaves me feeling uplifted, energized, alive and SMILING.
That through all the ups and downs of being a mom, especially with all the very limited ME TIME, that at the end of the day, there's SO much more to life than crying and whining.
Like spiders on the patio making their webs, slugs on the driveway that are walking to their homes, mushrooms sprouting in the grass, the heart that represents Valentine's Day on the billboard on the Interstate, picking out your snack with your favorite TV character on it and that rocking on the rocking chair and just being held is the best feeling in the world.
(Like big smiles and stories about the day after being picked up from school, rearranging bedrooms over and over again to look more and more of who I’m growing up to be and what I currently love, jokes being said to each other and everyone laughing, dancing and making TikTok videos, sitting around the table and having a family dinner and telling each other what we’re grateful for about each other and our life, coloring and painting together, running around in the backyard with Cider, taking family vacations together, having family movie nights and giving the biggest hugs when we’re sad and overwhelmed with BIG emotions and snuggling in bed together and reading books and watching a show together.)
That SHOWING my kids LOVE is SO much more important than focusing on the fear of not parenting right. Wanna read a parenting book? Nah!! Don't need it like I thought I did.
That making decisions based on what my heart truly desires is SO much better than making decisions based on my worrisome and fearful thoughts because it helps me stay connected to everything I LOVE and lets me yell out, "I LOVE PURPLE ICE CREAM!!!" in the middle of the store without a care in the world who hears me (my kids used to this…although now, my oldest would NEVER because that would be cringy! HA!).
That sitting around the house and doing absolutely nothing is truly the best because it's these days when every princess dress you own is worn, butterflies and hearts are painted on your face, walks out in nature where squirrels and birds are seen and the warmth of the sun is felt, baby rolls, crawls and talks are beginning to happen and the love between a big sister, baby brother and their mommy and daddy blossoms and grows more than ever. Which, in the end, is so much better than being busy-busy-busy and driving to store with a hungry baby and a fussy toddler who needs a nap ASAP!
(That sitting around the house and doing absolutely nothing is truly the best because it’s these days we play basketball outside in the driveway, go on bike rides, take Cider for walks, eat dinner outside in the backyard, play board games, play card games, paint on canvases, draw horses, finger paint, play online games with friends, give Cider baths, have movie nights where we get all the treats and drinks and popcorn out and make tickets to buy so we can watch it like we’re at the actual movie theater, sing songs and dance, bake chocolate chip cookies and make waffles and talk sibling fights out and hug when we’re feeling happy and sad.)
That being present with each other, truly listening to what one has to say, watching what one is doing, and having fun and playful conversations is SO much more important than connecting with social media on an iPhone. When eyes are focused on the phone in hand, dance parties, building castles with blocks, and scribbling with your favorite colored crayons on paper are missed out on, which ALWAYS makes my inner child super upset because it SO badly wants to come out and play. Adults can be BIG kids, too, ya know! Life is SO much better that way!
(When eyes are focused on the phone in hand, dancing to songs on Just Dance, drawing pictures, painting with watercolor, making something with dot markers, playing the violin and hearing giggles and laughs while playing together with online friends are missed out on, which ALWAYS makes my inner child super upset because it SO badly wants to come out and play. Adults can be BIG kids, too, ya know! Life is SO much better that way!)
That it's SO healthy to let meltdowns out...to release them...to cry them out...to stomp feet...to hit a pillow…rather than keeping them in and letting them manifest in my mind and body for hours and hours on end and then snapping at anyone who comes and tries to have a conversation with me. Uh, who wants to live like that???
That tickling brings out the best laughter and giggles which IS the best prescription any doctor could write up. And the sound of laughter and giggles...a sound that can loop all day, every day...don'tcha' think?
(That sitting there, being there for them, right beside them, when tough and BIG emotional moments come up for them IS the best prescription any doctor could write up! And then seeing their shoulders release and their smiles start to emerge because they felt safe to just release whatever it was that was bothering them and then they were able to move on to the next JOYous moment in their life…something that is SO needed in life…don’tcha’ think?)
That imagination is so positively powerful and we should NEVER, EVER!, disconnect from it because it brings so much joy and fun to everyday life. The FEELING that comes with wearing a superhero outfit or telling everyone your name is Tarzan is pretty freakin' awesome and a sure way to bring more laughter into life. Oh yeah! I think so!
T(he FEELING that comes when you imagine all the things you wanna DO and wanna BE as you grow older and visioning yourself singing with JOY and playing your violin with JOY in front of an audience because you know deep within you that you were BORN to do this is the EXACT way to do what you want to do even if you’re feeling fearful and nervous and scared! Oh yeah!! I think so! )
And that living in the present moment is the number one way to truly experience life in all its beauty. Because isn't that the way life is meant to be lived anyway? Kinda hard to do when it’s lived in the past and future tape that plays over and over in my head every day and night, right?
My kids have made me a better person. They've helped me connect more to myself than I ever thought was possible and they've shown me exactly what my true purpose and passions are in life, something I wasn't too sure of before my mama life.
They’re still doing this for me to this day!!
They've helped me to STOP and SAVOR all the sweet details that life surrounds me with on a daily basis, especially when my days can be easily focused on stress and overwhelm and have me labeled as the "multi-tasking" queen.
YES!! They’re still helping me with this!!
C and L, you've both helped me to reconnect with the true joys of life and how important it is to allow myself to slow down and savor every colorful second of it. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be running around like a very serious-faced chicken with its head cut off (well, I still do this) and would have never truly allowed myself to become more aware of just how important it is to stop, smile, laugh, savor, enjoy and love life, just as it is, right here, right now, in this very present moment.
On this Mother's Day, I'll be remembering all these reminders, and, most of all, I'll be remembering to live my life, like you both, do, truly SEEing and SAVORing life as it happens right in front of me every single day.
That's the best mother's day gift I could ever receive. This year and all the mother's days to come!
Here's to all the beautiful mothers...including my grandmother, whom I miss dearly and who's always with me in my heart and soul, and my mother, whom if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here right now, and who both have inspired me to be the mother that I am today.
And to my husband...if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be a mother right now and I thank him SO much for that!! ;) ;)
I AM SO incredibly thankful to BE a mother. Seven years later from this post AND 11 years of being a mother…it’s still the most JOYous and the most stressful thing I’ve ever done and felt.
Each year, as I mother my kids through their ups and downs, I feel like I’m not only learning how to mother them through their JOYous UPs and their STRESSful down but I’m also learning how to mother myself through my JOYous UPs and my STRESSful downs, too!
Each year my kids still remind me to slow down and BE present AND to laugh!!
Oh gosh!! THIS ONE!! It’s amazing how much my kids laugh!! And every day when they laugh and giggle they remind me to keep laughing as much as they do, too…no matter my age…because, yeah…I really don’t laugh as much as they do anymore, which is SO sad and SO not fun!! Ha!
But the #1 thing they’ve taught me these past few years is that there will ALWAYS be moments in my life when I feel very scared, very stressed and very full of anxiety.
But lots of hugs, taking deep calming breaths and asking for outside help (like the mental health practitioners at their schools who I AM SO GRATEFUL for!) to help with the uncomfortable and scary emotions that come with feeling this way WILL help my inner confident and inner happy self SHINE through!!
And when these BIG overwhelming and fearful emotions come up inside me and I make it through to the other side of them…I will have grown SO much within and I’ll have SO much more confidence in myself because I now know that I can do hard and scary things…because I have done them before and I did it!! I made it through!!!
Hard and uncomfortable moments come to show me something that I need to learn about myself…like hard and scary things…and that I ALWAYS make it through hard and scary things and when I do I AM more confident and I AM even happier than I was before they came to scare me.
And when the next hard and uncomfortable moment comes (because it will!), I won’t have as much fear and worry and anxiety, because I know, I’ve been through something like this and I made it through. I survived!! And I’m much more confident now because of it!!
That right there is hands-down THE BEST lesson I’ve learned from my kids these past few years and I AM SO THANKFUL for that!!
Because to me…if there’s one thing I want to learn in life and I want my kids to learn in life….is that life is full of JOY moments AND scared moments…not just 100% one or the other!
And when those scared moments come up and try to stop us from living in JOY (because they will come up and they will try their hardest to stop us from living in joy no matter how old we are!) we have to remember to not be scared of them, to feel them, to breathe through them, to ask someone to help us through them who will make us feel safe and loved and supported while in them AND know that it’s here teach us something about ourselves and help us to grow more into our inner, confident self!!
So, yeah…if there’s one thing I’d have to choose on this Mother’s Day to remember is that when times get tough and I feel like my stress, worry and anxiety is too much and it’s making me feel like we’re too scared to do something…that the more I breathe through it and the more I tell myself ‘I CAN DO THIS EVEN THOUGH I FEEL SCARED!”…
Because oh my gosh…I FEEL my kids fear BIG TIME…like I’m right there with them and I man I wish I could just keep them home so they don’t feel the fears they’re feeling so badly…but I don’t because I know that would be a huge disservice to them!
that each tough day will start to get a little less tough and before I know it the days will be JOYously filled with thoughts and feelings again because we made I made it through my scared-ies (that’s what Luca and I call them! ) and now I AM more confident and HAPPY than I ever was before because I just learned that I CAN DO HARD THINGS…no matter how worrisome or fearful that may seem to be making me!
And when those scared thoughts come to me again, I’ll remind myself that I know I’ll make it through, because I have before and I will again!!
THANK YOU, MY KIDDOS FOR TEACHING ME THIS because I, too, need this lesson and reminder (each and every day!) just as much as you!!
Ahhhh…like I ALWAYS say! Motherhood…it has made a whole new being out of me!!
Happy Mother's Day!
Until next time...
“If you want to change the world, go home and love your family!” - Mother Theresa
See something that makes you stop and smile. Grab your camera!! It'll slow you down, pull you into the present moment even more and have you SAVORing your JOY feeling even more!! And most of all, it'll connect you to your soul so you can SEE and HEAR the things that you may have passed by (like your kids starting the first day of school!). The camera...it's powerful...especially when it comes to FEELING JOY and BEing more PRESENT! :)
That's WHY I take pictures!! The camera is one of my favorite creative tools that easily pulls me out of my frazzled + overwhelmed mom head so I can fully SAVOR (the feeling of) everything that makes me stop, smile and lights me UP with LOVE (something that's hard for me to do when my mind is running 100 miles ahead or behind the present moment)
